How do I stop feeling sad?

Hope

Sadness comes after a hope diminishes. Like I hope today I will see a smile from my partner. Then when I don’t get it, I feel sad. I hope that I don’t get sick and when I get sick I feel sad. I hope that I have an easy life and when life gets hard, I feel sad.

What if …

What if I lose hope?

What if I welcome whatever life has to offer? What if I just get surprised every time I am able to wake up in the morning and everybody I know and like is breathing? What if I go through today like I am walking on a new trail full of adventures and this is my first time on that trail. What if I look at the next hour as if it has never happened before. But, wait a minute. It has not happened before. But, what if I hope my life is an automatic set of events by my own actions that I am not even inventing. What if I am only following what I was taught by my culture, parents, family, religion, political group and society.

What if I am only a slave of those pre-defined thoughts and feelings that were built within me before I even planned them. Does that feel awful? Does that feel lazy? Does that feel an insult to my intelligence? Life is very hard and there is no escaping it. But when you are extremely sad you might think dying is a solution. But what if I try self efficacy? What if I accept the power of my thoughts and what I can do to way pass this problem. What if there are so many problems? What if the problems are overwhelming? What if I feel all alone and powerless. What if my problems are bigger than I can handle? What if I am so that I feel weak? What if I think there is no where to go from here?

Now I have it al under control

But these are only empty thoughts. not having hopes doesn’t mean we quit. Instead it means this the beginning of me handling things. This means now I am in charge of my life and everything that happens to me and my life now is under my control. I accept the responsibility of everything that is going to happen from here. I always have a choice.

There is this undeniable fact about life: It’s very difficult. In fact, most of the time it feels back-breaking, punishing, demanding, laborious and grinding.

The thing is that we try to hide it. Because ever since we are a kid, we learn to want to impress our parents and then all the others. So, we try to hide that all in to feel less weak and more strong. We don’t want to feel vulnerable. Therefore, when life gets harder and harder during the day, we want to blame our own abilities and our lack of skills and we won’t admit that life is to blame. We have been thought that for so long that we turn into the best actors naturally. This is different from self-responsibility. This is self-deniable and self-acceptance. I always wonder how we use these very important and hard to understand terms, such as self-acceptance and self-denial one after another. As if, everybody knows automatically what these are. I mean really feel them. I think these terms are the core of our being and we need to grasp them and use them when we deeply practice them.

I call all this ” the existence is a burden”. It just moves from one form to another. Just we say this about energy and how it only changes from one kind to another. The difficulty and burden of life and existence is only hard. And this hard thing is only going to change face. We achieve happiness here and there after each achievement. Happiness is only expected to arrive at the end when you pass every obstacle and feel it inside you. That’s why when we cheat we feel success and not happiness. That is why success doesn’t bring happiness.

owning and acknowledging my feelings

You know how when we are really mad with a customer service and we ask to speak to a manger? when the manager comes, tries to listen carefully and then says that ” I understand your frustration, or I understand that you are angry at this,,,” they acknowledge our feelings and suddenly we are calming down. Sometimes all we wonted was to be listened to and be understood.

Solution:

Stop thinking
Stop judging and blaming yourself and others
Stop looking for the reason
Guess what? whatever the reason? it doesn’t really matter
Play some music, if you don’t know how to play an instrument start drumming on your lap or your table. Start making a fool of yourself and say your sadness out loud and sing the words to a melody that comes into your mind. you don’t have to know anything about music. Listen to a song. This sadness will pass. start to move your body. dance to the music. Dance when nobody is watching. Dance and make a fool of yourself. Try to break the ice and be vulnerable
whenever you hear a music or rhythm dance to it and sing to it. Don’t be afraid of being seen. What if others want to do it but they are afraid like you. Even if they look at you like you are a freak or weird deep inside they admire your freedom, happiness and bravery.
remember that time will solve many problems. In time you will think of another solution to your problem. Look at your problem from a different angle. Maybe, it will be a way to change your path to an unknown and a better one.
Always remember this is not the end
Am I reacting to this problem more than it really deserves
How many things are changeable in this problem? What are the variables? write them down on a post and stick them to a wall. Just like detectives in the movies. Then pretend that you are solving someone else’s problem. If nothing comes in your mind leave it and go take a nap. Go for a walk. Just meditate. You will come back to it after a few hours and maybe something else comes in your mind.
Take a photo of everything you have. Take a picture of people you like. Try and love the plants. Put all the photos in a collage and make a self portrait.
look at the sky and see how interesting and huge it is and how you and your problems look smaller compared to the whole world and the sky.
Think of something you like to taste.
plant a flower
don’t sit down. start walking, moving, cleaning, taking a shower, fixing your hair, changing your cloth, and making yourself a new fashion style. make a new receipt.
If you help people and be a good person and a good and caring friend, people start to surround you.
Make friends out of anything you like, even an animal, a plant, a piece of art you like or make, a craft, a tree, a flower, your car, a ball, a pair of shoes, a pad of paper and pencil to sketch. Make images of everything you see. Look at things in detail and focus on them. you don’t have to be an artist or even know how to draw.
There are many holes in life. Sometimes when we fall in one of them it’s very deep and sad. We lose hope and all we want to do is stay sad. It feels good to stay in that mood. Yes, but after a few minutes or an hour, it won’t help. So, change the posture. Stand tall and straight. I belong to this world as much as every other creature on this planet. I have a right to be happy. Smile. Tits up. Take a few deep breaths. Imagine that your body is shining from inside. Hug yourself.
remind yourself that you are able to learn and make a decision.
remind yourself that you are worthy. You are a human and no other human is different from you. We all have gains and losses and shortcomings.
But you tell yourself, I feel impaired? Take control over your life. start this very moment. Try and take control of the basic functions of your life. Brush your teeth. Take a shower. Put on your most pleasing outfit. Have a meal that you like. Smile. Do some stretches. Go for a walk. When you are on your walk try and pay attention to all the details and realize how you have passed your street so many times before and you have not noticed a few details. Look at another person, if you see another. Try to guess about that person. Based on outfit, shoes, the way they move. How is that person dealing with life problems?
Be open to a new experience
Be willing to be accountable for your community